I'm sure pretty much everyone who has ever played sports has gotten stuck with at least one coach who was a complete jackass. A coach that just rode the whole team into the ground because he was on some kind of power trip.

It gets to the point where, as a player, you don't even care about how well or how poorly you play. All you want to do is kick the coach where the sun don't shine when he lets his guard down for half-a-second.

Now, as someone who played sports at a variety of levels, including college, I have what you'd call a sixth-sense for spotting jackass coaches. Like this video here of Tony Sparano, head coach of the Miami Dolphins. It took me approximately 5 seconds to determine that not only is he an absolute power hungry, insufferable idiot, but also that the Dolphins won't win 3 games this year.

Why? Because they suck AND they already hate their coach. Nothing like telling your #1 draft pick - who'll be protecting the punching bag you put at quarterback - that all he learned at Michigan was the fight song. Can't wait to play for you now, coach!

I'm not sure what the hell Sparano spent last year doing, but it obviously wasn't watching Tom Coughlin become a player's coach and win a Super Bowl in the process.

So, after this video, how long do I give Sparano at the helm of the Dolphins? Less than a year. Only to be replaced by an even bigger jackass - Bill Parcells.

Enjoy the season, Dolphins.

Tony Sparano doesn't seem like a players coach [Shutdown Corner]

Today's blog goodness

1. What are the top conferences in college football this year?
2. Predicting the 2012 Team USA Basketball squad.
3. Jay Mariotti moves on. Chicago rejoices.
4. The Mets are starting to collapse again. Right on schedule.
5. Kobe Bryant rules China.

Today's other FanIQ site goodness

1. Better get your college football picks in for Week 1 of the Plasma Screen TV Contest.
2. Since the SEC is supposedly the best conference in America, might as well make some predictions on it.
3. Usain Bolt is a dance machine.

Tonight's TV goodness

We have some early round U.S. Open action and a chance to see how A-Rod follows up his astounding awful 0-5 with two double plays game from last night. My guess is he goes 0-11 with eleventy hundred strikeouts.

Major League Baseball: Boston at New York Yankees (ESPN, 7 p.m.)
Tennis: U.S. Open, men's first round and women's second round, at New York (USA, 7 p.m.)

In my Greatest College Football Quotes post earlier this week, included was this classic from Knute Rockne:


Florida Gators running back Chris Rainey qualifies. Rainey may be a lot of things, namely ridiculously fast, but he's not smart.

Rainey is a redshirt freshman, who has yet to see the field, but when it comes to quotes, he's a bloggers dream. Let's see, he's already been accused of accepting illegal gifts in high school, refers to himself in the third person and most notably, made is public that he prefers white girls.

Via The Sporting Blog, the All-American career in quotes continues. You see, Rainey signed up for a sex class, but it's not exactly what he had in mind.

Rainey: I'm taking sex classes.

Reporter: Six classes?

Rainey: Sex classes.

Laughter erupted from the twenty-some reporters crowding around him.

He's not the only one who enjoys taking the sex class at UF.

"It's a lot of people," Rainey said. "It was all the way to the door when I got in. My back was touching the door."

And even with all those students in the room, the subject matter was not at all to Rainey's liking.

"It's boring," Rainey said. "I thought it would be fun, like you see on TV. But it ain't like that."

We eagerly await the debut of Chris Rainey on the field Saturday, we doubt any Hawaii Warriors will catch him, but we can't wait for the first reporter to catch him after the game. Whenever he speaks, I shall listen... dumbfounded.
 

Florida's Chris Rainey Was Under the Assumption That This Was a Film Class [The Sporting Blog]

Ken "Tomato Can" Shamrock might not pass his physical before his scheduled fight with Kimbo. Five straight knockouts will do that to you. [Fanhouse]

NBA sideline reporter gives us one of the weirdest and most hilarious stories you'll hear in a long time. [Mouthpiece Sports]

Just in case you were counting, Chris Mortensen has gotten an astounding EIGHT breaking news stories wrong in two years. Good lord, that's a lot. [Awful Announcing]

How come Cliff Lee is never mentioned among elite pitchers in baseball? Guy's been great for 5 years now. [The Angry T]

Is Albert Pujols now one of the best hitters to ever play the game? [I'm Writing Sports]

Soccer club Chelsea looks at the Yankees penchant for spending money on over the hill star players and instantly raises them $200 million. [Deadspin]

Donovan McNabb's mom is now unemployed. [You Been Blinded]

Seems Aaron Rodgers is now wearing Brett Favre's number. That should go over well in Green Bay. [Stock Lemon]

Ok, we lied. One more Olympic basketball post.

This year's Redeem Team had an interesting dynamic to it, in that the head coach of the team, Mike Krzyzewski, had never been a pro basketball coach on any level, which was admittedly somewhat odd. Even though Krzyzewski is an incredibly respected college coach, I had my doubts about whether he'd be able to pull all those overinflated egos together to get the job done.

After all, a number of college coaches have made the jump to coaching pros and failed miserably. And Krzyzewski was leaving himself open for even more scorn by leading a team that was told to win gold in Beijing or else.

But he did it. He got everyone to buy into his system.

Well, almost.

In this rather hilarious picture taken shortly after the medal ceremony, you'll notice that every player has given Coach K his medal...except for Tayshaun Prince, who of course went to Kentucky. It should also be noted that Tayshaun is the player furthest away from Coach K and I assume he was shouting "Duke sucks!" as the picture was being taken.

That Kentucky/Duke rivalry runs deep, my friends. Nice work, Tayshaun.

Tayshaun went to Kentucky [Kentucky Sports Radio]